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If you are the mother of a high school girl, you are invited to Mentoring With No Regrets , a unique discipleship training event that will help you more effectively disciple your daughter. You will receive practical training from gifted speakers and opportunities to meet others who are investing in the spiritual lives of the young women in your community. For your convenience, this Discipleship Training event will be held at two different times: Friday, April 13 at 6pm and Saturday, April 14 at 9am. We look forward to seeing you at the Mentoring With No Regrets Event in Lawrence, Kansas in April, 2012.
KS 2012 Mentoring With No Regrets Details.pdf
KS 2012 Mentoring With No Regrets Speakers.pdf
MWNR Promo Back_FINAL 022012.pdf
MWNR Promo Front_FINAL 022012.pdf
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Lin Goodman
For a certain amount of time, a parent has the most significant influence in his or her child's world. That usually changes when a child enters school. It happened to me when my daughter was in first grade, and suddenly, I "knew nothing," but Mrs. Heilkema, her first grade teacher, was right about everything.
As parents, we need to understand that there will be many influences in our children's lives, and we really can't control all that comes into their world. That's when we need to ask and trust God to send people into their lives who will influence them to follow God and discover His plan for their lives. I was very thankful for family, friends, Christian teachers, and Sunday school teachers who helped shape my daughter's world.
As she grew older, she began to define her faith in God and began her faith journey. In high school, she desired to have a female Christian mentor in her life, and I was very supportive of that. Some parents see this as threatening or feel that such a job belongs only to the parent, but I disagree. I believe in the power of a support system. A collective group of godly individuals pouring simultaneously into our children's lives will help build a healthy foundation for their character and faith to be nourished and developed.
The women who mentored my daughter were godly women and were very influential in helping build a "healthy foundation" for her faith. It was wonderful to see these positive relationships support her through various seasons of her life. They offered her the wisdom that God had given them over the years, and they poured themselves into her.
She was able to open up to her mentors because she was in a relationship that was independent of me. She felt safe to share issues she was dealing with in her life, and she didn't have to worry about how I would react. Thus, she could be honest with them, which gave her the freedom to change and grow as she learned how to depend upon God and search His Word for direction in her life.
As these mentors invested in her life, I saw the impact they had. They confirmed what had already been taught in our home. Her faith grew and matured, and she was able to face the tests when the world tried to derail her. In time, she began to reproduce her mentoring experience with other girls and found great joy in seeing them grasp Gods truths and apply it to their lives.
If your child should find a godly mentor to walk alongside her or him, embrace it. Better yet, pray for this vital relationship in your childs life that God would protect it, nourish it, and use it to deeply impact your childs faith in Christ.
If your child doesn't have a godly mentor in their life, start praying that God would bring the right mentor into their life. It may take some time, but believe that God is able to provide the perfect fit! And when He does, don't forget to praise Him for it when He provides.
Looking for an old article? Find it Here!
Lin Goodman met her husband John at a single parent retreat at Trout Lake Camp in Minnesota. They have been married for 12 years and have six grandchildren. She is committed to praying for her daughters and grandchildren and is overwhelmed by Gods grace in providing such godly mentors to pour into her daughters lives. She and John have an adorable, subdued yellow lab named Winston and reside in Minnetonka, Minnesota.
Stephanie Kaihoi
As the primary spiritual nurturer of your daughter, you will want to have other people in your daughter's life who will help affirm the standards and beliefs that you have already taught and modeled in your home . A female spiritual mentor can be one of the most positive relationships in your daughter's life. I'm sure you are already aware of this phenomenon: you may say something multiple times to your daughter, and it appears to go in one ear and out the other, but when your daughter's mentor says something similar, not only does your daughter hear it, but she listens to her mentors words, and they begin to penetrate her heart.
Having a godly mentor pour into your daughter can surprisingly be a very healthy thing in your relationship with your daughter. Growing up, I felt relieved having had the opportunity to process things with my mentor. Having had time to sort through my emotions made me feel that I could articulate my thoughts better and be more open with my parents. There was less tension in my relationship with my mom because I had a godly soundboard (my mentor) to help me sort through my sin issues before I let them get the best of my relationship with my mom.
I also found my relationships with my dad and step-dad to become healthier because I was able to sort through how I was feeling in regards to these relationships. Although these men seemed to be from a different planet and too logical for me to understand, my mentor helped me comprehend our differences. In doing so, she was undoubtedly also painting a healthy picture for my future marriage by teaching me how to relate to men and respect the male authorities in my life.
As my mentor affirmed the things my parents were already teaching me, I felt more connected with them, especially my mom. She was no longer the only one telling me something; instead, I was hearing my mom's words affirmed by someone elses voice, my mentors. My mentor, whom I looked up to, helped me understand not just what my parents were saying, but why they were saying it and how it would impact my circumstances. Sometimes mothers may feel jealous of the time that their daughters get to have or desire to have with their female mentors. However, I encourage you to trust the Lord in this relationship and remain on the same team with your daughter's mentor.
As I highlighted some practical benefits of having a spiritual mentor pour into your daughter, here are some practical ways to remain on the same team:
Some of you may be reading this and thinking, "Well, thats great, but no one is pouring into my daughter." Or you may be thinking, "My daughters mentor just isnt that committed." If this is the case, I urge you to seriously (if you are not already doing so) pray for a committed spiritual mentor in your daughter's life. If your daughter doesn't have a mentor yet, consider talking with another woman from church who could begin pouring into your daughter's life.
Seek to keep healthy boundaries in affirming and supporting this crucial relationship in your daughter's life, and continue to seek the Lord in prayer over this relationship, for it is God who produces growth from the seeds planted in your daughters life (1 Cor. 3:7).
Stephanie Kaihoi is Founder of Legacy Living Ministries and Author of "Finishing With No Regrets." She currently serves as the Ministry's Team Director.
"We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. For even Christ did not please himself but, as it is written: 'The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me.' For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. May the God who gives you endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Accept one another, then just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God."
Romans 15:1-7
"True Christian love is not selfish; rather, it seeks to share with others and make others happy. It is even willing to carry the younger Christians, to help them along in their spiritual development. We do not endure them. We encourage them!
Of course, the great example in this is our Lord Jesus Christ. He paid a tremendous price in order to minister to us. Paul quoted Psalm 69:9 to prove his point. Does a strong Christian think he is making a great sacrifice by giving us some food or drink? Then let him measure his sacrifice by the sacrifice of Christ. No sacrifice we could ever make could match Calvary.
A persons spiritual maturity is revealed by his discernment. He is willing to give up his rights that others might be helped...Paul shared the two sources of spiritual power from which we must draw if we are to live to please others: the Word of God (Romans 15:4) and prayer (Romans 15:5-6). We must confess that we sometimes get impatient with younger Christians, just as parents become impatient with their children. But the Word of God can give us the 'patience and encouragement' that we need. Paul closed this section praying for his readers, that they might experience from God that spiritual unity that He alone can give.
This suggests to us that the local church must major in the Word of God and prayer. The first real danger to the unity of the church came because the apostles were too busy to minister God's Word and pray (Acts 6:1-7). When they found others to share their burdens, they returned to their proper ministry, and the church experienced harmony and growth.
The result of this is, of course, glory to God (Romans 15:7). Disunity and disagreement do not glorify God; they rob Him of glory... In His prayer in John 17, Jesus prayed for the unity of the church to the glory of God (John 17:20-26). Receive one another; edify one another; and please one another - all to the glory of God."
Wiersbe, Warren W. The Bible Exposition Commentary: New Testament. Colorado Springs: David C. Cook, 1989. Vol. 1, pg. 561-562.
1. "Supporting Your Childs Relationship With A Mentor"
This article (see link below) from Search Institute is a great article for parents, offering practical ways that they can support their childs mentor. As a mentor of young women, I highly recommend taking a few seconds to read this article.
Go to:
http://www.search-institute.org/system/files/supportingchildsrelationships.pdf
2. "The Mentor is Different than the Parent"
This article was recently published by Kate Dorrington with Mark Tronson on the Australian Christianity Today website. What a great reminder to parents of the importance of having godly mentors pour into their children's lives!
http://au.christiantoday.com/article/the-mentor-is-different-from-the-parent/7626.htm
3. "Supporting Your Childs Relationship with a Mentor"
This article (see link below) from mvparents.com gives helpful advice to parents on becoming an advocate for their child's mentor. Be sure to read the bullet points listed under the following age categories: parents with children ages 10 to 15 and parents with children ages 16 to 18.
http://www.mvparents.com/resources/enewsletter/archive/mentoring-relationships
